Isn't nature wonderful?

I found these on my morning dog walk today:

What a brilliant idea, I thought. These leaves would be really well camouflaged in a forest... oh, wait.

'Green on blue' is so 2012

It's the time of the year when the media is full of stories about cats raising puppies, retrospectives of 2012 and - worst of all - dictionary publishers getting their annual fifteen minutes of fame with their 'word of the year'.

This year saw a couple of the worst choices ever. Not because they are bad words, but because they aren't freaking words at all. The Australian National Dictionary Centre* (yes, there is such a thing - who knew?) chose 'green on blue' as their word of the year. While the Oxford American Dictionary went with 'GIF'.

Wait, what? Are we to understand that dictionary compilers can't tell the difference between a word (noun: a single distinct meaningful element of speech or writing, used with others (or sometimes alone) to form a sentence) a phrase (noun: a small group of words (see previous) standing together as a conceptual unit, typically forming a component of a clause) or even an acronym (noun: a word formed from the initial letters of other words)?

If I wanted to get all meta on their arses (as well as making a cool pop culture reference) I'd say 'I do not think that the word 'word' means what they think it means'. But I shall rise above that. Instead, here's a list of perfectly good existing English words that I think need more exposure. One of my New Year resolutions is to use all of them in my professional writing this year. They are:

misbegotten

insouciant

ne'er-do-well

shenanigans

woebegone

I think we'd all be richer for hearing those more often. Spread the word - but not the phrase or the acronym.



*Spelling finally corrected. Good eye Duffman.

Why can't I do that?

These days I spend about half of my working hours writing and editing. Every now and then I turn out a phrase or even a sentence that I'm proud of. But I had cause last week to pull down from the bookshelf Barbara Tuchman's justly famous 1962 history of WWI The Guns of August. This was one of JFK's favourite books, and it's possible to see a keen sense of wanting to avoid the sort of stupidity that Europe fell into in 1914 in his dealings with the Soviets in 1962-3.

But it's the writing that just kills me in this book. Here's the first paragraph:

So gorgeous was the spectacle on the May morning of 1910 when nine kings rode in the funeral of Edward VII of England that the crowd, waiting in hushed and black-clad awe, could not keep back gasps of admiration. In scarlet and green and blue and purple, three by three the sovereigns rode through the palace gates, with plumed helmets, gold braid, crimson sashes, and jeweled orders flashing in the sun. After them came five heirs apparent, forty more imperial or royal highnesses, seven queens – four dowager and three regnant – and a scattering of special ambassadors from uncrowned countries. Together they represented seventy nations in the greatest assemblage of royalty and rank ever gathered in one place and, of its kind, the last. The muffled tongue of Big Ben tolled nine by the clock as the cortege left the palace, but on history’s clock it was sunset, and the sun of the old world was setting in a dying blaze of splendor never to be seen again.

Tuchman said it took her eight hours to write that paragraph. I don't think I could do it in eight years. I hereby announce that I want to be Barbara Tuchman when I grow up.

It's summer!

To celebrate the arrival of summer, here's one of the best songs on the topic.



Gotta love these guys. There's a fine line between being clever and overly wordy in songwriting (Indigo Girls I'm looking at you here). These guys stay on just the right side of that line. I liked it so much I pinched the word 'panoply' for one of my professional publications.

The post that almost was

I recently bought a book of reprints of early super hero comics (we're talking late 30s early 40s). The sheer badness of some of them is breathtaking, but there was one that just begged for lampooning on this blog.

Unfortunately, I was beaten to it by the guys at Stupid Comics. They did such a good job I have nothing to add. I'll just give you a teaser - a panel that is just bizarre on its own (and in truth isn't really helped much by the context):

But I have to give Stupid Comics its due. I don't think I was going to come up with as good a caption for this panel as they did:

"The weed of injecting gorillas with secret serum bears bitter fruit of dismemberment!! A lesson for the ages."

I dips me lid.

A car sticker I'd like to see: